How can we handle being the middleman between those who disagree or hurt one another?
Have you ever been stuck between individuals or groups who are angry, hurt, or frustrated by others’ actions? It is extremely difficult to be the middleman when family, friends, and co-workers disagree. So often I see individuals who are hurt by others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Many times, it is a difference in opinion or interpretation, and sometimes it is due to a comment or action that offended someone. When it’s family it’s painful to watch and in our places of business it is frustrating. By no means do I have the answers to these issues, just ideas that we should consider, to help us through the pain.
We get caught in the middle of disagreements because we have a connection to both sides, and they trust us enough to share their pain and frustration. Our first step in dealing with these issues is to be an engaged listener. Be attentive to the words spoken without offering advice. Many time people just need to be heard and not talked at or interrupted. Our second step only comes with permission. If someone asks us what we think or what advice we could offer; then we should supply them with encouragement. Encourage them to speak with other individuals who have hurt them, and how they might see it from another perspective. Our disagreements can only be repaired through conversation, and positive engagement of our differences. The hardest and final step is to let go. We wish for peace and happiness among the groups or individuals who disagree. However, we cannot make anyone see another way until they are ready. This is especially painful if the disagreements are within our family, and unfortunately something difficult must occur for everyone to realize the importance of that relationship. As the middleman, we can only do so much to keep the peace. At the end of the day, it is the responsibility of the groups who disagree to repair those differences.
How can you be a good listener, who listens with their whole heart and mind?
What encouragement would you offer, if asked to, that redirects the conversation?
Are you willing to step aside, allowing the groups to find their own way to peace?
Managing our role as the middleman is extremely difficult. By now means is there a one-size-fits-all resolution to disagreements or confrontations. All we can do is listen, encourage those to find a way to resolve issues, and let go when and if it is necessary. I hope you can manage those disagreements in your organizations or families. Thanks for checking out this week’s post for Leading Conversations. Please leave a comment below that will contribute to this conversation.
Steve Bucks~ Leading Conversations and Leadership Coaching
~Maxwell Leadership Certified Team Member~
