What are we telling ourselves when we fall short or make mistakes?
I have made mistakes in my life, and I have let those mistakes eat me up inside. I have made judgment calls that I have felt to be right, only to find out others think it was incorrect. Then a voice inside my head stirs uncertainty and fear that hinder my decision-making process. The fear, at least for me, creates another mistake; inaction. We all have internal feelings when making decisions. We may call it our gut feeling or intuition. I go with my gut-feeling often when deciding, of course this is after I have gathered all the information and perspectives. Where I think I go wrong is when the decision is done and individuals dislike it, I feel bad. I fail to own the decision or second guess it. Self-doubt sneaks in and it causes a lot of sleepless nights and fear of everything I do. So, what are we to do about this feeling the overcomes us?
Leaders have different viewpoints pulling at them all the time. We must weigh all these views and think deeply about each decision we make. We can pull everyone’s opinion and make decisions by committees and call it good. We will have varying views either way. At the end of the day, the leader needs to make a stand and decide what is best for all in any given situation. When we enact a committee process and decide one way or another, there will be people upset. There will be times when the decision made doesn’t match what was brought to the committee. Committees are extremely helpful but can also muddy the waters. The point here is, if you are a leader, you ultimately need to make decisions. You may need to override a process even if it burns bridges.
Talking to ourselves is something we all do. If you are having full blown conversations with yourself, you may need to read a different blog. I am referring to the voice in our heads that encourage us or speak poorly of our decisions. What about the things we say to others about our actions and decisions? Are those positive or negative as well? What we say to ourselves and to others about ourselves are equally important. When we make mistakes and fall short of goals, we must acknowledge why we fell short but then we need to accept it and move on. We dwell in our short comings too often. We need to learn to rebound from our errors faster. Self-talk is a very important conversation we should have every day. Telling ourselves we are doing good means we believe in our abilities and makes us stronger in our decision-making process. Be sure the conversations you have internally and externally are in appositive light.
It has always been important to me to include everyone and check my behavior to be sure I was staying true to my values. I never want to harm relationships or make others feel less in any way. When I became a leader, I have struggled with this internal thought because I have offended others unintentionally. This is a weakness for many. We want to do good and be seen by others as a good person. It is difficult to achieve this when decisions need to be made that may be unpopular. Our personal values make us fear confrontation with others because we would rather look good then do good. Leaders need to make the best decisions they can to achieve the overall goals of their organizations.
Are you willing to be in charge and make decisions others will disagree with?
Are you speaking highly of yourself and your decisions?
How are you challenging or questioning your decisions?
Our decisions are not always the best or what everyone else feels are appropriate. We all face an internal struggle between our decisions and how they affect others. We can calm this struggle by accepting our mistakes and reflecting on all the decisions made. I hope your week is filled with success and lessons learned from your mistakes. Thank you for checking on my Blog this week. Please leave any comments below and add your views. Have a great week!
Steven C. Bucks- Leading Conversations
