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Have you reacted to a situation poorly by snapping at someone?

The past few weeks have been busy and stressful. There has been a pause in my blog post for too long and I have found myself not developing my ideas either. Major projects get in the way of other things. I have found that I am internally stressed and have snapped at a few people along the way. I try to hold myself to a high standard regarding my interactions with others. There is no doubt I fall short at times, as I am not perfect. This week, I wanted to share my struggle with some recent less than positive interactions. My plan moving forward is to see these moments before they occur again. I am wishing to see where I went wrong and acknowledge my internal feelings and avoid any more of these issues in the future. I hope to reset myself and hold true to my personal standard.

I would advise you to be the first to apologize. A few things could occur. People you snapped at may say that you are a jerk and let you have it. Others may say the interaction was no big thing, and they were not offended in any way. Lastly, you may get an apology from them for the role they played in the interaction. It comes down to perspective for all those involved. When you feel that you were rude and snapped at someone, acknowledge that feeling to be true and real. If it is real for you, then take care of it because it is your current truth. Address what you are feeling. If that feeling is doubt and defeat because you missed the mark and you are falling short of your values; that’s not ok. Allowing that feeling to fester will only contribute to your stress and doubt. Be the one who apologizes first, even if there was no intent to be rude.

Allow time to recover yourself. It may sound selfish to take care of yourself first. Personal growth is about correcting your shortfalls and allow yourself grace to overcome the feelings of inadequacy. When we miss the mark, we continue the cycle of beating ourselves up for our failures. We cannot be the best for others if we continue to replay our failures. Get yourself over any bad feeling after you have snapped at someone.  

Rebuild the relationships of the people you have hurt or offended. This is tough to face. If the people you snapped at are not willing to hear you or acknowledge your apology could cause you more pain. You need to give people their space after they have been hurt. If you are like me, you want to fix things immediately, but this is not always possible. When someone is unwilling to accept an apology; accept their truth. This is how they feel but share with them that you are truly sorry and will visit with them another time. Give that individual some space and time but come back later. In a leadership role we must show this person that you appreciate them listening to us as we apologize for snapping at them.

Pledge to do better in the future. All we can do, when we snap or are rude to others is try harder. Everyone has a standard when dealing with others that speaks to their values. We are not always perfect with that standard. Knowing when we have missed it and dealing with that is important. Accept what is and change the trajectory of these interactions. We can personalize this with each situation by pledging to the individuals we hurt that we plan to do better.

Are you always the first to apologize to someone?

How do you feel when you fail to meet your expectations?

How do you rebuild damaged relationships?

Are you aware of your standards or values when dealing with others?

We all unintentionally snap at people we work with or our families. No one is perfect, these things happen. What I hoped to share this week is to help redirect these situations and avoid further damages to relationships. My wish for you this week is to avoid snapping at anyone but have a plan if you do fall short of this expectation. Have a great week and thanks for checking out this week’s post.

Steven C. Bucks- Leading Conversations